Moving Forward: Finding Peace After Making Your Pregnancy Decision

Making a decision about an unexpected pregnancy is one of the hardest things you can go through. You spend days or weeks weighing your options, thinking about your future, and trying to figure out what is right for you.

Then, you make the choice.

Whether you chose to become a parent, place your baby for adoption, or have an abortion, you might have expected to just feel relief. But for many young women, relief isn't the only feeling. You might feel sad, confused, or anxious, even if you know you made the right call.

At the Women's Center of Greater Chicagoland, we want you to know that having mixed feelings is normal. Finding peace takes time. Here are some ways to help you stop stressing and start moving forward.

It’s Okay to Feel Two Things at Once

We often think we should only feel one way about a big decision: either happy or sad. But real life is messier than that.

It is totally normal to feel both relieved that you made a decision and sad about the options you didn't pick. You can know that abortion was the right choice for your life right now, and still feel sad about it. You can be excited to be a mom, and still be scared about what you are giving up.

Don't beat yourself up for having mixed emotions. You don't have to pick just one feeling.

Stop Re-Playing the Tape

Once you make a decision, it is easy to fall into a trap of "what ifs." Your brain might keep re-playing the arguments over and over, asking, "Did I do the right thing?" or "What if I had chosen the other option?"

This is exhausting. When you catch your brain spiraling back to the decision, gently stop yourself. Remind yourself: "I made the best choice I could with the information I had." Trust your past self. She did the hard work so you wouldn't have to keep doing it forever.

Write It Out

Sometimes our thoughts get toxic just because they are stuck in our heads. Writing them down is a way to get them out of your system.

Try setting a timer on your phone for 10 minutes and just write. Don't worry about spelling or grammar. Just let the anger, the fear, the relief, and the sadness pour onto the paper. When the timer stops, close the notebook. You don't even have to read it. Just getting it out can make you feel lighter.

Find a Safe Person to Talk To

Keeping secrets is heavy. If you feel like you can't talk to your boyfriend or parents because they have strong opinions about what you did, you might start to feel lonely.

Healing happens when we can be real. You need a person who will just listen when you say, "I'm having a hard day," without trying to fix it or judge you. If you don't have that person in your circle, talking to a counselor or a support group can be a game-changer.

We Are Here for What Comes Next

At the Women's Center of Greater Chicagoland, we don't just disappear once you've made your decision. We know that the journey continues.

Whether you are stressing about being a new mom or need someone to talk to after an abortion, we offer a safe, private place to work through your feelings.